Dating a widower with small children
Sometimes, connecting with a good family therapist and taking advantage of his or her professional training can yield big dividends.
Check with your employer about resources that might be available through an employee assistance plan (EAP). There are few things more tragic in a family's life than losing a mother and wife.
(Yah, I know about the assume thing.) Many of you spoke of excesses: droning on and on, posting on Facebook how much he misses her, baking her birthday cakes every year and hanging her pictures on the wall…absolutely these are all likely deal-breakers.
I advised to have a conversation with him and if he persists…he’s not ready. In the end, my advice is that if a Good Man can give you 95% of himself, but still needs to save 5% for a dead woman with whom he shared decades and probably raised a family, you might be able to give him the gift of letting him remember her fondly…without guilt or shame.
You and the children need to work through the stages of grief as they come and hang on to each other.
Just because one of the grieving family members is ready to move on does not mean that all of them are ready to do so.
As friends, neighbors and extended family members offer help, be willing to accept it graciously and allow others the opportunity to serve you and your family.
An offer for babysitting while you take some time for yourself can be a welcome relief and should be not be rejected. Some may offer to take care of the yard for a while or fix your car.
Then believe him, and pay attention to his actions. Some of you shared your positive experiences and thanked me. I’m happy to say that I’ve never had to experience the grief of losing a spouse.As a newly widowed father, Seth confided his fears and doubts in his close friends. How would he raise a nearly teenaged daughter alone?How could he balance the demands of a job and career and the demands of children who were adapting to a new world without their mom?Again, I truly DO love and appreciate hearing from you. What you share here is meaningful to me and also helps inform the thousands of women who are reading these posts. Dating a man who has been widowed can be challenging, but as you say, they can also be a great catch. 🙂 Bp I am reading these comments because of my current situation of being in love with my widower of 8 months who is having a very hard time.Unlike divorced men, they don’t come from a failed relationship, but many have a strong track record of loving and appreciating a woman as a wife and partner. Yes, I would much rather have to “compete” (as other women have said it) with his lovely dead wife and reap the benefits of his good marriage than have to put up with a man who can’t truly trust, can’t commit, still has anger and has a crazy ex who is still in his life. However, I need to say that the reason I am willing to wait for a good relationship with my widower is because of the love and care he had for his late wife before and during her illness.